A crazy day...

Against my want to, I went to “church” this morning. I mean these are the people that paid for me to go, the least I could do is show that I care and go. So I went. You see I go to a small town First Baptist Church. It’s your typical church with a choir, piano, and the little guy at the front waving his hands in the air like a fly is attacking. Not exactly my favorite style of worship. But nonetheless it is worship. Just seems that most the people in my church don’t understand that. They are there with the mentality of “well preacher what can you give ME today, how are you going to make ME feel better?” They want, want, want, instead of going, going, going. So anyways they open the service in a song and well that’s when I started to cry. Why I cried? I’m sure its several things. A longing to be at my church in Germany, a brokenness because my church here is so dead, I don’t really know why I was crying, all I know is that I was. The church I go to is so typical, sit when they say sit, stand when they say stand, give an amen when the preacher says, “can I get an amen.” I have sat by a lot of these people at a football game where they hardly sat down because they was cheering for our team, but when we come to church there is no excitement at all…. they’re dead. And it breaks my heart. So at the end of the service we sang a hymn that says “I surrender all” and as I sang that line I couldn’t help but cry again. Saying that scares the c-rap out of me. What does it mean to truly surrender all to Him? Coming to that point of surrender you never know what’s next or where He is going to take you. And as much as that scares me, that is exactly where I want to be, not knowing what’s next or where He is sending me. Just knowing that wherever that is I’m willing to go. I want to be desperate for Him. As I sat there seeing how dead my church was the thought that flooded my mind was, “how do I reach these people.” I mean we are talking about people ages 1-90. How can I reach them and explain to them what true church is. And I still don’t know how I would go about doing that. But God has called me to reach a certain group of these people. I will spend this next year of my life being an intern with the youth. I have already talked to our youth minister about starting LTG’s within the youth and he is all for it. When I found out that I had to live at home this year instead of moving out for college I was upset and didn’t want to do it. But that was God’s will so that I can do this. I am so excited to be able to do this. Most of the youth is Jr. high kids, and maybe I can’t reach the people that are 90 but God has placed me in a position to reach this generation. And I can’t wait to see what God is going to do in and through me in this next year. Also I talked to one of my friends about doing an LTG and she wants to do it with me. So I’m excited about that too. So my morning was a little rough, but all kinds of good stuff was going on this afternoon. So please just be in prayer for me as I step into this position. Open your eyes…God is there we just have to look for Him….

I will love You
I will praise You
I will serve You
I will trust you